dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
