I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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