I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
