from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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