I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so let's talk penis.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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