For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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