man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
