well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
