I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
