sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
