This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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