Betty ford says i'm here all night
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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