I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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