apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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