next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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