i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
apparently the secret to your success is patron
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
