I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
