if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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