i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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