I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
