Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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