At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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