so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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