The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
it glows. i had to have it.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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