:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
