just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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