He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think I died a long time ago.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
