problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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