We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
