You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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