You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
are you so shy because you have an std?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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