3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Randomize
