There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
