Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize