On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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