physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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