Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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