Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
