I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize