The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
