and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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