Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
