kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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