come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
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