Whod you bang
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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