They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
