It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
