Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
