worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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