apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
