your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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