Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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