So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
