i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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