they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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