As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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