Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
