i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Randomize
