what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
