bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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