Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
She needs sedatives and a leash
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
