dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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