I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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